I have come to the conclusion that I need to be rich. Really, really rich. My theory is this: the less money I have, the more I find myself wanting things, the more money I have, the less I want things. So if I have just enough money to eat I silently look at my bank account balance and think, fuck it, I’ll eat 50 cent ramen for a month and buy this fabulous dress. This is, of course, not feasible, as I’ve consumed far too many 50 cent ramen noodles in my short lifetime already and I pretty much hurl just thinking about my sweet, sweet ramen. I end up with a red balance. Contrasted to that is when I’ve a thick well-balanced, well, balance and every sweet dress I pass I think, this isn’t worth the cut, fabric or my fabulous persona and I storm off with a well-fitted haughty look in my eyes. I continue to have a thick bank balance. So basically, I should be super rich so I’d never buy anything. And that’s a fact.
But then there’s also the moments when I look sadly at my red balance, realising that I need to survive on the sad 1,37 euro packets of spinach and ricotta tortellini slowly perishing in my fridge, understanding I have no money left to buy anything else for days (trust me when I say there’s only so much cheap tortellini you can eat, despite its relative deliciousness). So then the only thing left for me to do is Seriously Want the most useless thing on the planet, as is evidenced by my latest obsessions:

Konapun is the best. It’s tiny food that isn’t even eatable. Basically, it is one of the most useless inventions ever, thereby rendering it also the best invention ever.

Then there is the cat-shaped toy camera that doesn’t even have a monitor, though it is blessed with a sensor and lens in the cat’s eyes, and a magnet to stick it to a metal railing only to capture the image of an unaware feline passerby. This could only enrich my life with its cute uselessness.

I mean, really.